


When I was your man

by JxJJP



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-02 01:36:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16295801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JxJJP/pseuds/JxJJP
Summary: A story of an ex-gangster who held power, money and fame...A gangster whom many had feared in the past...A gangster who had seldom shown his face to people not related to their world...An almighty gangster who had suddenly handed himself in to the police at the peak of his career...It's a story about a gangster named...Im Jaebeom





	When I was your man

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone~! :) 
> 
> This is a repost & edited version of what I had written previously elsewhere, so if anyone do recognise the storyline please do not be alarmed. Don't worry, I did not copy anybody's work. ^^
> 
> I didn't name the other characters but yes, they are all the other members :)

“Ladies and Gentlemen~! Today, the 22th of September, may be a special day for many people around the world… A lovely day for some of you here… And, it's an undeniably important day to our lovely pianist who had constantly attracted all you back to our humble little restaurant. In this special day, he had requested to give a special performance to a special someone whom most likely won’t be here to see it at all… Let us welcome our one and only Def-nim~! The talented young pianist who had touched the hearts of many with the music he plays!” the chirpy boss of the elegant yet cozy little restaurant announced as the lights dawn on the stage that held a beautiful white grand piano at its center.

Cheers and claps were heard as a young handsome man walked to the middle of the stage, giving the audiences a smile that shows nothing but sadness and a bow that means nothing but appreciation. It wasn’t the first time he had done such performance, he had done this quite frequently these days to be exact. But today was different... So different that the mere thoughts of it could easily bring tears to his eyes…

Today was supposed to be their 6th anniversary….  
And today was also… his birthday…

Glancing through the crowd, he tried to look for a face that he yearn to see every second of his life even when he knew it would be a futile effort in his heart… Yet reality can never be ignored as it slaps itself onto his slightly scarred yet handsome face, a face that hides many stories and heartache. Swallowing the lump forming in his drying up throat, he let out a choke cough to hold back his tears as he finally, finally opened his mouth to speak for the first time ever on stage.

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen… Before I commence with the performance, there’s a story that I want you to listen to… It’s the story behind the new song I wrote which I’ll performing today. This will be the first, and the last song I will sing on this stage. It’s a story about a used-to-be gangster whom I’m quite sure many of you had heard of and some feared of… The sensational ex-gangster whose face had not been revealed even after he had handed himself in to the police… He is… The ferocious JB that held power, fame and money.  But none of you would have known that this highly feared JB… had a loving and cute boyfriend whom he really loves… The only guy who was able to held onto the imaginary leash around his neck... But JB was stupid… the almighty JB was so so stupid… For he took that loving beauty for granted… He thought that with the power, fame and money he had, nobody would leave his side be it due to fear or greed just like how his parents were. So he gave him little attention… he gave him attitudes whenever he sees anyone approaching his beauty… and he forbids him from stepping out of the house… No parties, no dates, no flowers, no presents, no freedom…

Yet, he didn’t know the reason why he kept him locked away from the world… He was so stupid that he failed to see the obvious that had been present all these while… But when that loving creature finally got too tired to carry on and gave up on this useless gangster, he was lost… He tried denying the importance of him… he tried moving on by using others… he tried forgetting him by drinking… But none worked… His world turned grey, his heart was empty and his eyes were blank…

And then... realization sank in…

The reason was simple… really simple… so simple that he can’t help but laugh pathetically at himself as tears poured out uncontrollably. He was foolish to only realize when it ended… For the reason was there from the first day they met… For the reason was… love…” he said as he held his tears in those reddening brown orbs of his that were staring blankly into the air.

There was a moment of silence as the audiences tried to absorb the story that was just told, imagining it in their mind and feel the heartache of the foolish gangster. Some emotional audiences had shed some tears upon understanding the story and the pain behind every word… Slowly, one by one, the audiences focused back to the pianist who was still staring at nothing, waiting patiently for him to continue his unfinished speech. It took a good five minutes of pregnant silence to get back the attention of the pianist… but what was about to revealed, was the shocking truth that many would have guessed by now.

“Today, on our 6th anniversary which also happens to be his birthday, I'll like to sing for him for the last time in my life. This song, this performance, this stage… are all for him… The love of my life… the love I failed to give… the regrets that I promise to hold till my last breath on this earth…  I know it’s too late to say this now... but even if you aren’t here to hear this, I'll still like to say… I love you, Nyeongie… I really do…. Even if it’s too late, this foolish idiot here stills want to be a man whom you can proudly call an ex… My love, please be happy from now on… I sincerely hope that, your new love will be able to do all the things that I should have done when I was your man…

Ladies and Gentlemen… I am JB, the foolish gangster who had ruined many that includes himself. I know that this would never be enough, but I'll like to apologise for all my wrongdoings in the past. I’m sorry… I'm utterly sorry for everything…” he apologised sincerely as he knelt down on the floor to the tearing crowd, feeling ashamed for his past.

“Today, I’ll like to present to all you a song that I've composed for him… the only present I could afford to give him now… It’s named ‘When I was your man’ thank you…” the pianist finally said after gathering his emotions back and proceeds to the awaiting white grand piano. And with a deep breath, he finally started his performance…

 _Same bed, but it feels just a little bit bigger now_  
_Our song on the radio, but it don't sound the same_

 

“Jaebeomie~ wake up~!! It’s time for breakfast~!!!” you whined as you shook my tired body gently while playing that song that I had played when I was wooing you. The song that you said was your favourite because it was me who played it for you… The song that you had secretly recorded the day I played just to make you smile when you were crying… The song that I had unconsciously loved because it was you who loves it…

 

 _When our friends talk about you all that it does is just tear me down_  
_Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name_  
_And it all just sound like uh, uh, uh_

 

“Jaebeom-hyung~ Where’s Jinyoung-hyung? Why didn’t you bring him along this time? We aren’t outsiders you know~ don’t tell me you are jealous with us too?!” Youngjae joked as he smacked my head lightly. But I wasn’t able to answer him… I wasn’t able to find it funny like it used to be… You were gone and a part of me had left with you too… My torn and shattered heart breaks an inch further with every mention of you, with every memory of you… This was when I realized that you really were my life…

 _Hmmm too young, too dumb to realize_  
_That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand_  
_Should have gave you all my hours when I had the chance_  
_Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance_  
_Now my baby is dancing, but he's dancing with another man._

 

It was the last party that I would attend before I request to leave this gang… I knew of the consequences that I will face apart from the police… but I decided to do it… I wanted to fulfil that last wish of yours before you left… the wish that you thought I didn’t hear as I acted asleep to avoid you… But I heard… You asked in such a painful voice that broke my heart… You said you hoped I was just a normal person who could love you more… you hoped I wasn’t a gangster that made you worry every second for my life… you just wanted a normal life with me… I heard that… So I’m trying for you now… But as I were socialising with my last ounce of façade on, I saw the scene that left my heart permanently broken… You were dancing with another man… with that smile that I’ve missed every second of my life… You were happy… Like those days when I was good to you… You twirled around beautifully with his arm around your waist, just like how I always wanted to… But… You were no longer mine…

 _My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways_  
_Caused a good strong man like you to walk out my life_  
_Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made_  
_And it haunts me every time I close my eyes It all just sounds like uh, uh, uh, uh_

 

Closing my eyes, I tried to shun the image of you in his arms… If only I had never treated you like that… if only I had placed all others aside and loved you like how my heart tells me to… If only I had the courage to present you proudly to everyone… If only… If only… If only…

 

 _Too young, too dumb to realize_  
_That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand_  
_Should have gave all my hours when I had the chance_  
_Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance_  
_Now my baby is dancing, but she's dancing with another man_

 

Each punch, each kick, each hit… I endured them like a ragged doll for all I saw was your happy face when you were dancing with him… The pain that was in my heart was more overwhelming than any other physical pains… I knew this was coming… I always knew… Since when was leaving a gang easier than joining it? But this was worth it… For you it was… You were happy now… But I wanted to make you happier by fulfilling your last wish… So, for you, I endured…

 

 _Although it hurts I'll be the first to say that I was wrong_  
_Oh, I know I'm probably much too late_  
_To try and apologise for my mistakes_  
_But I just want you to know_

 

For all the hurt I gave, for all the tears I made you shed, for all the pain I’ve inflicted and for all the bad memories I’ve made when you were with me… I’m sorry… I’m sorry for appearing in your life and ruin those six years which you could have lived happily without me… I know you are happy with him now… But I just want you to know… I still love you, and I will for the rest of my life… Be happy Nyeongie, please be happy…

 

 _I hope he buys you flowers, I hope he holds your hand_  
_Give you all his hours when he has the chance_  
_Take you to every party cause I remember how much you loved to dance_  
_Do all the things I should have done when I was your man_  
_Do all the things I should have done when I was your man_

 

It was silence in the restaurant… everyone was silent as they felt the raw emotions that were latched to every word that was sang by the ex-gangster who was playing the piano. Tears had stained many audiences's cheeks as they watched how piece by piece, the man ahead tore his façade down to show the well hidden feelings that had been buried deep inside for so long. Nobody dared to move, nobody dare to speak a word and nobody dare to even clap for they saw how the man was sobbing internally despite those limited droplets of tears that had escaped his eyes. It was really silent until one particularly loud sob and urgent shuffling of footsteps caught everyone’s attention, including the depressed man on stage. A stunningly beautiful man was making his way to the front with overflowing tears and loud sobs escaping his trembling body. With each step he took, tears seemed to pour down the pianist's face at a faster rate. Slowly, the pianist stood and walked to the back of the curtains before reappearing a moment later with a bouquet of red roses, smiling lovingly yet sadly as he walked towards the approaching man who too, gave a beautiful smile in return.

Step by step they moved toward each other with their eyes locked and their hearts in sync, or at least it seemed to be from the audience point of view. It was only few steps till they finally could meet each other face to face, not stalking nor reminiscing through photos but really face to face. Everyone held their breath, waiting patiently for the expected romantic scene that always occurs in drama to unfold in front of their eyes…

Just a few steps more… Just a few steps more…

But... just like how many other dramas are always like, those few steps can never be completed… The audiences screamed in shocked as a deafening gunshot was heard and blood started splattered out of the JB's chest. He was falling, falling with a smile as the love of his life wrapped his arms around his falling body. Blood was oozing out the wound at his chest at an alarming speed and yet all he cared about was to stretch his arm towards the fallen bouquet of red roses, trying his best to get it back into his hand. Pitying the weak struggles of the dying man, an audience picked up the bouquet and laid it back to his weakening grip which he smiled and muttered a soft thanks.

Looking back at his crying and panicking love again, he lifted his empty hand to wipe off those tears which was dripping off that beautiful flawless face he missed. He was getting weaker with every drop of blood lost… But it was never his concern as he had seen this coming one day too… With his shaking hand that held the bouquet, he presented the lovely red roses, that were now even redder with the stain of his blood, to his love with a smile which had always been reserved only for him…

“H-Happy B-Birthday Nyeongie... I-I remembered you always l-love red roses… and... I-I’m sorry N-Nyeongie… I-I really did and do love y-you… P-Please accept this last b-bouquet of rose t-that c-came too late… S-Something… t-that I-I should h-have… done… w-when I-I was… y-your man…” JB whispered weakly between pants as he eyes slowly closed with a smile lingering on his face.

 

 _I hope he buys you flowers, I hope he holds your hand_  
_Give you all his hours when he has the chance_  
_Take you to every party cause I remember how much you loved to dance_  
_Do all the things I should have done when I was your man_  
_Do all the things I should have done when I was your man_

 

 

"You selfish bastard...! But... I-I love you too Im Jaebeom... Please don't leave me again... Please... Please... Please..."

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading~^^  
> Hope you like it ><  
> I might or might not write a sequel but if I do, it'll definitely be different from the previous version. :)


End file.
